PLAYING IT SAFE ONLINE
 
by Linda Alexander, Esq

The Internet has become the hot new place for smart, eligible people to find romance, and those looking for love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have begun relationships online with people they have not met and know little about. 
  
With so many people communicating via the Net and deciding to date virtual strangers, it is important to be safe and be smart. Common sense can go a long way to keep you safe. Here are some guidelines for playing it safe: 
  
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. 
  
Begin by first communicating solely by email or online chat. Be vigilant in noticing odd behavior or inconsistencies. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection. 

Find out as much information as you can. 
Learn to ask many questions. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected to his community. These are clues to finding out who this person really is. Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. Continue with a great deal of caution. 
  
Honesty is the key to success. 
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or deceiving is easy online. Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital status and physical appearance. Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone is unwilling to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that person has something to hide. Having a scanned photo is available at Kinko's for less than ten dollars, so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. After you have exchanged photos, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest. 
  
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent. 
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out your phone number to a stranger. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number. 
  
Don't rush into anything. 
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time to back away and look for another match. 
  
If you decide to meet for a date, proceed with caution. Arrange the meeting on your terms. The following is a guide to ensure that you have a safe encounter: 
Before You Meet 
  
Before you go out with someone new, it is important to get as much information as you can about the person you will meet. 
1. Always ask for a full name, address, and telephone number before agreeing to go out with someone you have never met. 
 
2. Never go out with someone who will only give you a pager or work phone number. (There is a very good chance of a spouse in the house.) 
 
3. When someone gives his or her phone number, find a reason to call unexpectedly. This may help you to find out if she is married or he is living with someone. 
 
4. Find out where the person works and if you can call him or her at work 
First Date Know-How 
 
Be careful when agreeing to meet anyone in person.  
Set the conditions for your date and do not let the other person change them. Remember, you really do not know someone until you spend time with them in person. 
  
1. Always tell someone where you are going with your date and when you will return. Leave your date's full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down. For a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you are going and all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at http://www.smartdate.com. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a very big red flag. Protect yourself. 
 
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with on your first date. Stay near other people in a lighted area. Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way to get to know someone. 
 
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble. 
  
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you about him or herself. If you find out that your date has lied about anything, this is another red flag. 
  
5. Do not bring your date back to your house after the first meeting. You do not know this person. Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use in any type of dating relationship. 
  
Be smart and be safe. Take control of your future. Know what you are getting into before you invest your heart, money, or your life. Information is the key. 

Back To Relationhsip Articles

Dating Services - Free to join

Dreammates Dating Services
Dreamates has completely free basic membership sign up. Fill out the quick registration and get your free profile handle. Dreammates offers three different online dating communities: Casual dating, long term romance, and intimate encounters - you get three different chances to meet someone new and exciting with the same things in common.

Date.com Personal Ads
Offers millions of photo profiles of sexy men and womens just like you! It's fun, easy to use personals site and is totally anonymous. sign up now for free and start dating! This is a top dating site and we highly recommend it!

Friendfinder Date Personals
With well over 18 million personal photo profiles, this site has the largest online matchmaking database available on the World Wide Web. The singles chat rooms are always filled with thousands of men and women seeking to find a match via internet chat. It's totally free to post your personals to check out all the singles that are looking for love just like you!

Lavalife Dating Serice
Lavalife personal ads offers singles a free membership to test the personals service. The free basic site membership includes posting your own photo profile personal ad and contacting other members by sending free carrots. Fun personals site with lots of groovy options and features.

Match.com Date Service
Match service offers the the best available singles online! With literally millions of searchable profiles, you’ll find the perfect match in no time! They have matched thousands of singles for marriages and countless meaningful relationships. Post your Free profile and see if someone interests you!

Kiss Picture Personals
5 Million plus single members and growing makes this free personals site one of the biggest on the Web! Always 100% free to place your profile ad, search and view other singles, receive and reply to email from the thousands of new members joining each day!

Udate Personals
Udate personals utilizes next generation matchmaking technology making it a breeze for singles to find exactly what they seek. UDates also features a fast track sign up process meaning you can be searching for love and romance in less than 2 minutes! Over 6000 people are joining uDate every day making it one of the largest dating sites on the Net. The site is very fast and simple to navigate!

Platnium Free Personals
Matching single people who share the desire to meet and explore others for long and short term relationships. Create your free profile to access the personals and all the features. Lots of new and interesting personals not found on the other dating sites. This is the most popular newest site on the net and we highly recommend it.

MegaFriends Personal Ads
The newest of the large online dating services, Megafriends is a fun, quick site to navigate and features live singles chat rooms dating message forums. Place your creative free ad, and search the personals for free.

Lonelyfire Dating Singles
Free internet singles community with thousands of picture profiles from around the world. A fun, safe way to make new friends or partners, for romance dating and long term relationships. You can register a free picture profile without any obligation. First two contacts are always FREE!

eharmony Internet Personals
Find The Love of Your Life With eharmony! eharmony provides a unique solution for single adults looking for others. NO personal ads or come on lines. eharmony's program is based on thirty years of relationship research and a scientifically proven matching system.

Yahoo! Online Personals
Large picture profile personals database. Millions of singles with picture profiles seeking relationships. Free to join.

BeanDate Dating Personals
BeanDate.com offers free Decaf Membership. This simply means that you can post your profile and a photo. This way other members of the community can get to know you and have the option to contact you if they are interested in finding out more.

DatingDirect Personal Ads
Find The Love of Your Life With eharmony! eharmony provides a unique solution for single adults looking for others. NO personal ads or come on lines. eharmony's program is based on thirty years of relationship research and a scientifically proven matching system.

2ofakind Computer Dating Service
Soulmates connect using the most unique and powerful match system featuring over 150 match options, analysis reports and anonymous email. Find your perfect pen pal or soulmate with this extensive match making service. All matches are screened and scored from a selection of over 150 interests, preferences, and priorities. This is a secure and practical way to connect with new people and perhaps make your match of a lifetime.

American Single Personals
Having over 5 million single members with almost ten thousand new profiles placed every day makes American Singles one of the largest personals match sites on the Web. Free to place your personal ad profiles and contact the other singles!

Metro Date Personal Ads
Has a densely populated database of quality single men and women. In each city they serve, Metrodate features numerous ways for singles to meet each other (9 different ways). Placing an ad is always free, using tokens to contact someone you are interested in meeting and dating.